I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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