he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job heโs been fantasizing about since last century and heโll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize