With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
