I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i think my cat just said my name.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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