so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
