mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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