you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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