did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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