is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
