matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
