you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
