I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
