Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize