I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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