Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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