Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
