and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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