well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
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You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
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Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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