He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
