I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
