And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
