i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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