This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
