its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They are going to name an STD after you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
