There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
