i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
