dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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