The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All I want is dick and wine.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
