This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
