My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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