I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
