I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
