So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
