I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
