We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
