i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize