dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...