just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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