Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
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It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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