do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.