I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize