I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
