i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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