God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
40s are totally the cure
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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