i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
