Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
