Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

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(415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity. http://tfl.nu/h9r5

Replies (9) Good night (1423) Bad night (545)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!

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(612): I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER! http://tfl.nu/epkg

Replies (61) Good night (11473) Bad night (963)
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(214): View more from Texas

I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?

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(214): I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him? http://tfl.nu/482n

Replies (88) Good night (1064) Bad night (10039)
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(224): View more from Illinois

It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'

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(224): It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat' http://tfl.nu/0g9k

Replies (12) Good night (1446) Bad night (3937)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

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(480): I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet http://tfl.nu/9wvg

Replies (3) Good night (4070) Bad night (860)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.

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(928): I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop. http://tfl.nu/tczb

Replies (17) Good night (3493) Bad night (1005)
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(818): View more from California

I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?

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(818): I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal? http://tfl.nu/2gme

Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (751)
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(587): View more from Alberta

I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?

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(587): I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it? http://tfl.nu/0nlc

Replies (5) Good night (650) Bad night (1245)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.

(615): View more from Tennessee

And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass

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(615): Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic. (615): And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass http://tfl.nu/370d

Replies (0) Good night (733) Bad night (362)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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(919): I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go http://tfl.nu/j7ma

Replies (4) Good night (606) Bad night (283)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

(580): View more from Oklahoma

I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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(580): She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand. (580): I'm worried because he hasn't removed it. http://tfl.nu/hp4o

Replies (3) Good night (810) Bad night (328)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?

(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions

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(908): Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b? (340): It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions http://tfl.nu/22dq

Replies (2) Good night (874) Bad night (356)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING

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(320): I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING http://tfl.nu/fcp6

Replies (13) Good night (1698) Bad night (357)
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(630): View more from Illinois

HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.

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(630): HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT. http://tfl.nu/ol91

Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (317)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...

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(918): You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza... http://tfl.nu/o125

Replies (2) Good night (233) Bad night (70)

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