So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever