Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart? http://tfl.nu/us70
  Replies (22) Good night (1523) Bad night (5863)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job??? http://tfl.nu/mo3e
  Replies (32) Good night (1210) Bad night (4126)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day. http://tfl.nu/urgx
  Replies (6) Good night (4935) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I lost count of how many people I peed on last night. http://tfl.nu/e9nm
  Replies (20) Good night (1964) Bad night (4553)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both. http://tfl.nu/vzdh
  Replies (4) Good night (1056) Bad night (2158)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all. http://tfl.nu/8vyn
  Replies (6) Good night (944) Bad night (2886)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him. http://tfl.nu/boov
  Replies (12) Good night (1915) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier http://tfl.nu/71e3
  Replies (3) Good night (1277) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great http://tfl.nu/tj20
  Replies (4) Good night (1449) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'. http://tfl.nu/3npe
  Replies (2) Good night (1602) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents http://tfl.nu/5ltr
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (874): View more from

  I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (874): I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night! http://tfl.nu/sa7u
  Replies (8) Good night (1489) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups http://tfl.nu/pbun
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried. http://tfl.nu/mygr
  Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means? http://tfl.nu/odjk
  Replies (1) Good night (255) Bad night (383)

Randomize