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• (721): View more from

  That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  omg, i know.

  (721): View more from

  we're too high.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.

  Fav 26 6325 1758

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.

  Fav 7 866 2668

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• 

  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea

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• 

  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver

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