the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
