Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

(410): View more from Maryland

and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

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(410): A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis. (410): and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap. http://tfl.nu/onen

Replies (26) Good night (1162) Bad night (2874)
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(801): View more from Utah

I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.

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(801): I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight. http://tfl.nu/gp42

Replies (11) Good night (4666) Bad night (995)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.

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(651): if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call. http://tfl.nu/9x5y

Replies (39) Good night (1000) Bad night (6262)
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(940): View more from Texas

there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me

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(940): there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me http://tfl.nu/wugh

Replies (65) Good night (858) Bad night (20375)
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(530): View more from California

My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.

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(530): My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower. http://tfl.nu/udbm

Replies (16) Good night (652) Bad night (5599)
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(302): View more from Delaware

dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit

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(302): dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit http://tfl.nu/61qr

Replies (13) Good night (6699) Bad night (1163)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex

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(517): I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex http://tfl.nu/ieaq

Replies (14) Good night (2453) Bad night (837)
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(443): View more from Maryland

There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.

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(443): There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you. http://tfl.nu/nqul

Replies (15) Good night (3480) Bad night (1508)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.

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(778): the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting. http://tfl.nu/qa9b

Replies (1) Good night (1289) Bad night (676)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear

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(208): I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear http://tfl.nu/1f0a

Replies (11) Good night (4426) Bad night (793)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.

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(336): I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat. http://tfl.nu/ctm6

Replies (5) Good night (1732) Bad night (509)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.

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(570): It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk. http://tfl.nu/rmsw

Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (396)
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(253): View more from Washington

Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.

(1-253): View more from Washington

Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.

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(253): Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now. (1-253): Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now. http://tfl.nu/vki8

Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (276)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.

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(256): Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl. http://tfl.nu/7wpk

Replies (6) Good night (499) Bad night (363)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.

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(413): I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college. http://tfl.nu/4oip

Replies (4) Good night (616) Bad night (232)

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