I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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