I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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