porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dicks are not precious.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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