I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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