I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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