I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
