I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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