I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
