Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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