you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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