Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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