Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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