is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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