please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
